THIS JUST IN: Donald Trump refuses to believe Bin Laden is killed. Demands to see Death Certificate.

“The sun shines on those who do not carry umbrellas.” D. Flounder

“All beings tremble before violence. All fear death. All love life. See yourself in others. Then whom can you hurt? What harm can you do?” – Buddha (563-483 B. C.)

“Nothing will benefit health and increase the chances for survival of life on earth as the evolution to a vegetarian diet.” – Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Vegetarian Week

“The highest realms of thought are impossible to reach without first attaining an understanding of compassion.” – Socrates (c470-399)

From the Atlantic Magazine:

Is it possible for your husband to come home from a business trip and have lipstick traces on his shirt collar and not be having an affair? – P. A.

Dear P. A.,

Yes, but only if your husband works for a lipstick company.

“Feel appreciation for those who provide examples of Well-being. How would you

know that prosperity was possible if there wasn’t some evidence of prosperity

around you? It’s all part of this contrast that helps you to sharpen your own

desires.”

“Make a decision and then make the decision right. Line up your Energy with it.

In most cases it doesn’t really matter what you decide. Just decide.

There are endless options that would serve you enormously well, and all or any

one of them is better than no decision.”

“If the world gives you lemons, make limoncello.”

My friend Leslie sent this to me today. An important message regarding our nation’s oil shortage:

A lot of folks can’t understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country.

Well, there’s a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil.

We just didn’t know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical.

Our OIL is located in: Alaska, California, Coastal Florida, Coastal Louisiana

North Dakota, Wyoming, Colorado, Kansas, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania and Texas

~~~

Our dipsticks are located in DC.

The thing that is so outrageous to most Americans about the Goldman Sachs story isn’t their guilt or innocence of securities fraud. The whole story puts on public display what these big Wall Street banks actually do for a living. They don’t make loans to businesses or individuals — they gamble. People ask themselves, “We bailed these guys out so they could keep on gambling?” Might as well have bailed out a bunch of casinos or racetracks. —- Robert Creamer

Way back in 2002, mega-investor Warren Buffet warned that the lack of regulation of Wall Street bets on derivatives were “financial weapons of mass destruction… and time bombs (threatening) the whole economic system.”

In 2008, those bombs exploded, wiping out 8 million American jobs and trillions of dollars in savings. The fallout from that explosion devastated most of America.

But after their taxpayer bailout, Wall Street bankers went right back to building new financial time bombs and giving out billions in bonuses.

Today the rest of us are once again in grave economic danger from unregulated “derivatives” capable of destroying the U.S. economy all over again.

The time-bomb Buffett warned us of is still ticking. —- Huffington Post

THIS JUST IN:

The State of Arizona has just banned Cinco De Mayo.

Furthermore, legislation is pending for the immediate confiscation of food deemed by the police to be “reasonably suspicious” (such as margaritas, tortilla chips and refried beans).

“A 16-year-old Southern California girl hoping to become the youngest person to sail around the world alone has ended her quest and will head to South Africa for boat repairs.

The record for the youngest person to circumnavigate is held by 17-year-old Mike Perham of Britain.” —Associated Press

The record for youngest person to procrastinate is held by most of America’s teenagers. —– DailyFlounder

The country of Greece is borrowing billions of dollars to stave off default on their debts. Apparently, the country is in ruins.

Blog#409 (Tue 5-4-10)

“A 16-year-old Southern California girl hoping to become the youngest person to sail around the world alone has ended her quest and will head to South Africa for boat repairs.

The record for the youngest person to circumnavigate is held by 17-year-old Mike Perham of Britain.” —Associated Press

The record for youngest person to procrastinate is held by most of America’s teenagers. —– DailyFlounder

AP

“A Missouri man who won a $258 million Powerball jackpot and plans to use some of the money to pay bills, replace his two missing front teeth and take his children to Disney World said he hasn’t decided yet if he’ll quit his job at the convenience store where he bought the winning ticket.”

DailyFlounder has no comment.

“WASHINGTON— Pollution before the first Earth Day was not only visible, it was in your face: Cleveland’s Cuyahoga River caught fire. An oil spill fouled 30 miles of Southern California beaches. And thick smog choked many cities’ skies.

Not anymore.

On Thursday, 40 years after that first Earth Day in 1970, smog levels nationwide have dropped by about a quarter, and lead levels in the air are down more than 90 percent. Formerly fetid lakes and burning rivers are now open to swimmers.

The challenges to the planet today are largely invisible and therefore tougher to tackle.

“To suggest that we’ve made progress is not to say the problem is over,” said William Ruckelshaus, who in 1970 became the first head of the Environmental Protection Agency. “What we’ve done is shift from the very visible kinds of issues to those that are a lot more subtle today.”

Issues such as climate change are less obvious to the naked eye. Since the first Earth Day, carbon dioxide levels in the air have INCREASED by 19 percent the average annual world temperature UP about 1 degree Fahrenheit, according to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.

“We’ve cleaned up what you can see and left everything else in limbo,” said Kathleen Rogers, president of the Earth Day Network.

What if we picked our mates like the NFL Draft? I’d probably go in the 7th round.

(Note: The NFL Draft has 7 rounds)

What round did you pick your mate?

NY Times

“A Graying Population, a Graying Work Force”

Professional caregivers are one of the fastest-growing segments of the U.S. work force, and also one of the oldest.”

Who is going to take care of the young?

LONDON— British astrophysicist Stephen Hawking says aliens are out there, but it could be too dangerous for humans to interact with extraterrestrial life.

Hawking claims in a new documentary that intelligent alien lifeforms almost certainly exist, but warns that communicating with them could be “too risky.”

The 68-year-old scientist says a visit by extraterrestrials to Earth would be like Christopher Columbus arriving in the Americas, “which didn’t turn out very well for the Native Americans.”

He speculates most extraterrestrial life will be similar to microbes, or small animals but adds advanced life forms may be “nomads, looking to conquer and colonize.” —– Associated Press

“Fortunately for those living in Arizona, upon sight aliens will be stopped by police and asked to produce proof of citizenship.” —- DailyFlounder

Did you see what Arizona’s Governor just signed into law? An immigration bill that requires everyone to carry a passport at all times in case a policeman racially profiles you as an illegal alien. You can be stopped or pulled over at any time simply because of the color of your skin and the way you look. A similar policy worked pretty well for the Nazis.

Pardon My French

NY Times

“While the French language is thriving outside France, many inside the country fear an erosion of traditional culture.”

What’s next? Ketchup on fries? Box wine? Kissing without the tongue?

What’s all the fuss about sock monkeys? Every hip gift shop seems to sell them these days. And why do monkeys have such a monopoly on socks? I lost a sock monkey once, but found it later in the dryer.

NY Times 4-21-10

WASHINGTON — In a major First Amendment ruling, the Supreme Court on Tuesday struck down a federal law that made it a crime to create or sell dogfight videos and other depictions of animal cruelty.

What’s next from the Roberts’ Supreme Court? Making it legal to sell child pornography?

Angels once lived in the ocean as colorful Parrot fish. They were so beautiful

that the other marine life were jealous and only saw them for their beauty and not the

goodness inside. So they swam really, really fast until they built up so much

speed that they flew out of the water and high up into the sky where, when they

are not down here taking care of humans, they live quite happily.

LIVING WILL

“A couple were sitting in the living room and the wife says to the husband , ‘I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine, drinking fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.’

Her husband got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out her wine.”

Headline from NY Times April 3:

“Signaling Jobs Recovery, Payrolls Surged in March

Starting to reverse the loss of eight million jobs, American employers took on 162,000 more workers in March.”

Now that’s good news to start the merry month of May. It will take a long while to recover from the financial malfeasance and subsequent job loss the past decade got us into, but it appears the worst is over and the direction now is UP!

Who murdered King Tut? Apparently no one. A new study in the AMA Journal found that the 19 year old Egyptian pharaoh died of malaria and complications from a leg fracture. The DNA research explains why over a hundred walking sticks were found in the tomb.

No word yet on the thread count of the Egyptian cotton sheets wrapping the body.

“At a conference today in Washington commemorating the 25th anniversary of the Internet designation “.com,” the panel I’m on has been asked to “gaze into the crystal ball” and predict “the next game-changing .com breakthroughs.”

I’m going to predict that the Internet of the future will deliver technology that addresses the greatest needs of the present: the restoration of trust through greater transparency; the return to a public dialogue driven by truth and facts not fear and distortions; and reconnecting to the source of our wisdom by, ironically, pulling the plug on the 24/7 connectivity the first 25 .com years have led to. The first 25 years of .com have been a time of online miracles. My crystal ball sees more explosive wonder just ahead.” - Arianna Huffington

What are your thoughts?

“Positive thinking can make depressed people feel worse. In general, researchers found, repeating a phrase like, “I’m a lovable person” only lifts your mood if you have high self-esteem to begin with. People with a poor self-image find the phrase so unbelievable that it reminds them of how they really feel – not lovable – and thus makes them feel worse, says psychologist Joanne Wood. “Positive self-statements, despite their widespread endorsement, may backfire for the very people who need them the most.” – The Week

Come on, cheer up, be all that you can be.

I’m so pissed that the House passed Health Care Reform. I, for one, look forward to my health insurance premiums going up and up and up. I’m happy to give this money to health care corporations. They need this money for huge bonuses to their executives.

And why do those of us with no pre-existing health problems need to extend a helping hand to those less fortunate?

And why should we help protect kids and others who have no insurance? That’s just not what America is about. Is it?

Thousands of you are visiting DailyFlounder.com. Thank you for helping spread the word. There is a “Send Site to Friend” link to make it easier for you to share my drawings with friends. Aloha!

Hawaiian Phrase of the Day:

A Hui Hou

Until we meet again

“Minimum number of members the dating site Beautiful People has expelled since December for being too fat: 5,000” – Harper’s Index

“Number of membership Increase to the dating site Beautiful Fat People since December: 5,000” – D. Flounder

“Percentage increase in the price of garlic in China since March 2009: +286%” - Harper’s Index

A shortage of garlic or a remedy for an abundance of bad breath?

Hawaiian Phrase of the Day:

Malama kou kino

Take care of yourself

“I’m really multicultural. My mom is from Haiti. My dad’s from Puerto Rico. I was born in Brooklyn. I read Proust. Your heritage is your heritage, but your soul is truly who you are.” – Soul singer Maxwell

“Approximate number of U.S. pedestrians who visited emergency rooms in 2008 as a result of texting-related accidents: 1,000”

– Time Magazine

Can you walk, chew gum and text at the same time?

“Thoughts become things…Choose good ones.” – Mike Dooley

Sure I’m disappointed, having painted myself “blue” to win an Oscar. “The Hurt Locker,” however, was a riveting and powerful film that reminds all of us there is a brutal cost to war. May our leaders in the future, unlike those in our recent past, think things through before they rush our precious men and women to war.

A heartfelt thank you to all of you who voted for me.

Two days ago I posted a blog about a new website for people sick of corporate special-interest bought politicians. I made up the name “PoliticsSchmolitics.com.” Life imitates Art – turns out there’s already a website with this name. (Don’t go there; its just a bunch of mumbo jumbo with no content . . . like a lot of our politicians).

What does it tell us that female soldiers deployed overseas stop drinking water after 7 p.m. to reduce the odds of being raped if they have to use the bathroom at night? Or that a soldier who was assaulted when she went out for a cigarette was afraid to report it for fear she would be demoted – for having gone out without her weapon? Or that, as Representative Jane Harman puts it, “a female soldier in Iraq is more likely to be raped by a fellow soldier than killed by enemy fire.” – Nancy Gibbs, Time Magazine

PoliticsSchmolitics.com

The website for people who are sick of the cynical special-interest-owned politicians who could care less about the welfare of their constituents.

“A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military

defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death.”

–Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Doodling helps you concentrate. By scrawling aimlessly during a dull meeting, you keep your mind busy enough to remain present in the moment, instead of drifting off entirely into day-dreaming.” – Time Magazine

No wonder I did so well in school.

Congratulations Canada on your Gold Medal in Hockey. What a game!

Here’s something that my friend L just sent in:

Airport security: a simple solution

Here’s a solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners at the airports. Have a booth that you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on you.*

It would be a win-win for everyone and there would be none of this bull about racial profiling plus this method would eliminate long lines at airports & long

and expensive trials. Justice would be fair and swift.*

*Case Closed!*

New friends are welcome and wonderful, but nothing compares to old friends. Old friends keep one another young.

The next time you hear some grandstanding politician-stooge of Big Pharma and Health Corporations rail against reforming health care, remember these words of reality:

“I pray for healing. When you’ve got nothing, you’ve got to go with what you know.”

JEAN EISEN, who has gone without her prescription medications since she lost her job more than two years ago.

“Francis Henry Taylor, a former director of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, was right in calling the art museum ‘the mid-wife of democracy’ — a midwife in the sense that the art museum may be the only institution left that can help today’s generation understand such things as creativity, civility and beauty, and the crucial importance to our society of a modicum of style and grace.”

—–Transformative Former Director of the Metropolitan, Thomas Hoving

“It’s worth noting when Mitt Romney, the former Massachusetts governor positioning himself for the 2012 presidential race, tells the CPAC crowd that Democrats are opposed to tax cuts.

He conveniently left out the fact that the stimulus bill backed by President Barack Obama and approved by the Democratic-led Congress included $288 billion in tax benefits, including refundable credits of $400 for individuals and $800 for families in 2009 and 2010 covering about 95 percent of taxpayers.”

——-Associated Press

Politicians on both sides of the aisle have always distorted the facts, but now blatant outright lies are deliberately being told for political gain. These “Talking Points” are a script of lies repeated again and again by members of the party and their radio & TV pundits. The American people deserve the truth, but sadly the truth is harder and harder to get it.

“Percentage of people in a 15-country survey who said that, given a do-over,

they would marry the same person: 68%” — Time Magazine

Here’s an interesting concept from Paul McCartney that, if widely adopted, would

be a gift to our planet. Spread the word.

“Ok, here’s the story on Meat Free Monday. In 2006, the United Nations issued a

report which stated that the livestock industry as a whole was responsible for

more greenhouse gas emissions than the whole of the transport sector put

together.

I found this interesting particularly because people at the UN are not a

vegetarian society and therefore, could not be accused of bias. They pointed out

the following facts:

The Livestock industry produces gases that are extremely dangerous for the

future of our environment.

The two main gases, methane and nitrous oxide, are considered to be more harmful

than CO2 (methane is 21 times more powerful than CO2 and nitrous oxide is 310

times more powerful than CO2) so the data suggests that this is causing a highly

dangerous situation for ourselves and, more importantly, for future generations.

Methane also remains in the atmosphere for 9 to 15 years; nitrous oxide remains

in the atmosphere for 114 years, on average, and is 296 times more potent than

CO2 - the gases released today will continue to be active in degrading the

climate decades from now.

Livestock production is land intensive: a recent report by Greenpeace on land

use in the largest meat producing state in Brazil found that livestock (cattle)

production was responsible for vastly more deforestation than soya.

A third of all cereal crops, and well over 90% of soya, goes into animal feed,

not food for humans. Eating less meat will free up a lot of agricultural land

which can revert to growing trees and other vegetation, which, in turn, will

absorb more carbon dioxide from the atmosphere.

Livestock production is water intensive: it accounts for around 8% of global

human water use. The estimated 634 gallons of fresh water required to produce

one 5.2 ounce (150g) beef burger would be enough for a four-hour shower. For

comparison, the same quantity of tofu requires 143 gallons of water to produce.

Livestock production is the largest source of water pollutants, principally

animal wastes, antibiotics, hormones, chemicals from tanneries, fertilizers and

pesticides used for feed crops, and sediments from eroded pastures.

The meat industry is set to double its production by 2050 so even if they manage

to lower emissions by 50%, as they have promised to, we will still be in the

same position.

With this in mind, my family and I launched Meat Free Monday in the UK, an idea

which has been gaining support from people like Tom Parker-Bowles who, after a

lifetime of denigrating vegetarians, recently wrote in his Daily Mail column, “I

wince at the memory of my boorish antics” and who pronounced himself “intrigued”

by MFM: “There’s no doubting the plain common sense of the message…Meat Free

Monday is something to really savour”. Another supporter is Al Gore who stated

that initiatives like Meat Free Monday “represent a responsible and welcome

component of a comprehensive strategy for reducing global warming pollution and

simultaneously improving human health.” Paul

“We are at a point right now where it doesn’t make a damn whether you’re a

Democrat or a Republican if you’ve forgotten you’re an American.”

FORMER SENATOR ALAN K. SIMPSON, Republican of Wyoming, lamenting Washington’s lack of political will to confront the soaring national debt.

Have you been watching the Olympics? Is it me or is the TV coverage so disjointed you don’t know what event is on when? At least I managed to catch the Curling.

“We do not remember days, we remember moments.” – Cesare Pavese

Money Over Planet Dept.:

Utah’s House of Representatives just ratified an amendment (by a vote of 56-17)

stating that carbon dioxide is “essentially harmless” to human beings and good

for plants. The amendment condemns “climate alarmists” and disputes all of the

scientific data and facts forming the basis of global warming. They also

disputed (against mounds of evidence) well documented graphs of changing

temperatures and called on the EPA to order an immediate halt to its moves to

regulate greenhouse emissions.

Utah House members position is best summed up by representative Mike Noel, as he

explained: “Sometimes… we need to have the courage to do nothing.”

Unfortunately, arctic polar bears could not be reached for comment.

P.S. Did I mention that Utah is a major oil and coal producing state?

I don’t remember the questions, but love is the answer.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

Fact: How many Wall Street bank executives have been tried on criminal charges related to the financial crisis?

The Answer, not surprisingly, is 2. The rest, apparently, have been given bonuses.

Today one-third of America’s kids are overweight or obese. This childhood problem can lead to diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, cancer and asthma.

Here’s the Daily Diet for our kids:

270 minutes of TV

151 minutes listening to music

33 minutes talking on cell phones

73 minutes playing video games

90 minutes text messaging

89 minutes non-school computer use

Are some dogs gay? Are some dogs that serve in the military gay and if they are do they adhere to the “Don’t Ask Don’t

Bark” policy?

“I have to run to Zales to get a Kobe Special.” —- Tiger Woods reportedly was

quoted saying to a friend once his indiscretions became public. When asked what

a “Kobe Special” was, Woods replied:

“A house on a finger.”

“Percentage of Fox News viewers who say the network is ‘mostly liberal’ : 17”

– Harper’s Index

Percentage of Fox News viewers born without a brain : incalculable

Who Dat?

Geaux Saints

“Chance that a female U. S. street prostitute during any given week will be arrested by a police officer : 1 in 67”

“Chance that she will have sex with a police officer : 1 in 33” – Harper’s Index

“Portion of men whose attractiveness is judged by U. S. women to be ‘worse than average’ : 4/5”

“Portion of women about whom U. S. men say this : 2/5” – Harper’s Index

“Percentage tax rate that Goldman Sachs paid on its profits for year 2008 : 0.6%.”

How much was your tax rate?

(Source: Harper’s Magazine February 2010)

“It’s not how good you are, it’s how good you want to be.” – Paul Arden

As a kid I marched in the streets for Civil Rights. I wasn’t black, but somehow as a formative youth I felt the meaning of the injustice and the necessity to speak out for change.

Here’s an interesting comparison recently compiled.

National Debt Increase:

Carter (4 years) 42%

Reagan (8 years) 189%

George Bush Sr. (4 years) 55%

Bill Clinton (8 years) 36%

George W. Bush (8 years) 89%

There’s a lot of talk about which political party is more fiscally responsible. I’m an Independent and these are the facts:

Q: Which modern President added $4.9 Trillion Dollars to the National Debt?

A: George W. Bush

Q: Which modern President began his Presidency with a large Deficit and left office with a large Surplus?

A: Bill Clinton

Q: Which modern President nearly tripled the National Debt?

A: Ronald Reagan

“Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless – like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” – Bruce Lee

“Now try this with wine. Intoxicating.” – D. Flounder

“There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.” – Buddha

Great News for the American Taxpayer: The big banks that we bailed out have decided to curtail huge bonuses to their executives in favor of cookies and milk.

Andy Warhol’s silk screen painting “200 One Dollar Bills” (created in 1962) recently sold for $43.7 Million dollars. I’m currently working on a painting titled “300 One Dollar Bills.”

Do Vampires go to the dentist to have their teeth cleaned?

This just in: Wasila, Alaska.

Palintologists here have discovered the skeleton of a woman whose values stem from 1950’s sitcoms. Dubbing the find “Sarah,” DNA tests determined that the well preserved relic died of overexposure.

“Pain is hard to bear…

But with patience, day by day,

Even this shall pass away.”

– Theodore Tilton

Shame on you Pat Robertson. You are not a man of God and your remarks about Haiti show you have no compassion nor empathy.

Shame on you, too, Rush Limbaugh. Your hate mongering has stooped to new lows with your racist, fat-cat ramblings on Haiti and efforts to help this devastated country.

Don’t move on until you have helped the Haitians.

Thank You! DailyFlounder.com is now in it’s second year.

Thanks to you (word of mouth) the site gains more fans each month, with thousands now visiting.

Please help continue spreading the word. There’s also a “Send Site to a Friend” link to make it easier for you to share my drawings with friends. Aloha!

Let us count our blessings as we extend our heartfelt empathy and financial help to the devastated country of Haiti. The massive earthquake has rendered this already poverty-stricken country to almost total calamity.

It is our duty as human beings to help them through this darkest hour.

UNICEF or Red Cross are accepting donations.

I have sent money to Doctors Without Borders 1-888-392-0392

Is there anything more tender than holding hands in a dark theater while watching a movie with the one you love? Young, old or in-between, there’s something magical and reassuring about this small but so significant touch.

Did you know that of all the Western industrial nations the United States spends by far the least amount of money on the arts? And so many school systems have cut arts education that it’s no wonder our kids are becoming one-dimensional. Is it about money, money, money or developing a society rich in diversity and self-development? Judging by our national lack of putting our money into the arts, the sad answer is no.

If Elvis were alive today he would be 75 years old (and an AARP member for 25 years).

Decades seem such long measurements of time, until one day you have lived through a number of them. Suddenly, a decade seems so short.

“You may say I’m a dreamer.” – John Lennon

“And I like to sleep in late.” – D. Flounder

Every day we read about or hear about people losing their jobs. We, who have jobs, pause for a moment and give it nary a further thought. Many of those unfortunately unemployed say that is isn’t the money, but rather the losing of a sense of purpose (not the loss of income) that devastates the most.

May 2010 usher in a renewal for all those less fortunate.

After winning the Indianapolis 500 auto race, champion driver George Robson explained: “All I had to do was keep turning left.”

“Don’t let go of the vine.” – Johnny Weissmuller (one of the original actors to play Tarzan of The Jungle)

Simplicity, it can be said (though in no certain terms) is perhaps undeniably best expressed by the capably judicious selection of the well-plucked and salient fewest words.

Ho! Ho! Ho! Dept.:

You know all those years of gifts, well, turns out Santa was running a Ponzi scheme.

“The obvious is that which is never seen until someone expresses it simply.”

– Kahlil Gibran

“It is the simplicity of line which, when properly rendered, reveals the complex.”

– D. Flounder

January 2^nd should be celebrated as the “Day of Broken Resolutions.” If you get through today you’ve got a 50-50 chance of keeping that New Year’s Resolution. Resolutions are so much easier to break than to make.

Hello 2010. It seems like only yesterday you were 2009. Be good to us as we strive to be good to ourselves. May the New Year bless us one and all.

“All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope.” – Sir Winston Churchill

“To that I would add the word love.” – D. Flounder

How do you measure fear? You can’t. In fact, the only way around it is to overcome it.

“An old man said: If you have lost gold or silver, you can find something in place of what you lost. However, if you lose time you cannot replace what you lost.” – Yushi Nomura

There are some things we can’t explain, which is why we call them unexplainable.

“The greatest happiness in the world is to make others happy.” – Luther Burbank

May peace prevail on Earth. May all be kind to each other.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

“I’m like a little pencil in God’s hand. He does the writing. The pencil has nothing to do with it.” – Mother Teresa

Where Are They Now?

Beavis and Butthead are living in a home for retired animated actors in Pasadena, California.

Someone told me that the Flounder is wearing thin. What do you expect? Flounders are thin. Very thin.

Nothing can compare to the night she danced naked to the Beatles “Drive My Car.” Some women say “I love you” or “I need you,” but I much prefer her “Beep! Beep! Yea!”

Here’s the scary thing. If you dilute the truth long enough it will no longer be the truth. Like politics these days: TruthLite®

The end of the year lists are starting to come out. What’s the best thing to happen to you in 2009? (Besides DailyFlounder.com).

It’s the close of another year of life on Planet Earth. How fitting that the countries of the world have been squabbling about whether or not to truly address Global Warming and avert future catastrophe. What’s your bet on the outcome of the Copenhagen conference? Mars anyone?

“The worst thing about some friends is that they are not.” – D. Flounder

The holiday season can be a daunting time, but let’s not forget our military families with loved ones far off in harm’s way. The 24-7 barrage of news should not dull us to the human cost of war and deep appreciation for the valiant soldiers our politicians send off to fight our wars.

It’s embarrassing, but I recently saw the movie “2012.” It was a disaster. So much so, in fact, the theater swelled with laughter at the implausibility of it all. When Hawaii was obliterated the audience roared.

If you find pleasure in well crafted songwriting coupled with the sultry soothing female voice, get a copy of Melody Gardot’s new album “My One and Only Thrill.”

If you like powerful, introspective and superbly acted movies, don’t miss “Brothers.” Toby Maguire and Jake Gyllenhaal are devastating in this heartfelt and disturbing film about the brother sent to war and the family left behind.

“The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.”
– William Butler Yeats

Some very vocal nay sayers are refuting the existence of Global Warming. Unfortunately, if the world stands idly by and does nothing, there will be no satisfaction when they are proven wrong. In fact, they’ll be no planet as we now know it.

Are you feeling the pressure to buy gifts for the holidays? While shopping is a much needed boost for the economy (especially designer jewelry shopping), wouldn’t it be nice if we all got by with a few handwritten, heartfelt words of love and appreciation? On second thought (to all of you now contemplating a gift for yours truly) let’s start next year.

Recently back from vacation, my computer crashed and many emails were lost. At first it seemed devastating, but soon I was reminded that there once was a time when we were not slave to 24-7 communication. I’m no Luddite, but must admit there was a tinge of joy losing those dozens of emails and the realization I did not have to wade through them. Loss often comes with freedom.

In 1869 the first patent for a waffle iron was granted in the United States. Politicians have been waffling ever since.

“Narcissism is the ability to charm oneself with little interest in others.” – DF

“I think charm is the ability to be truly interested in other people.” – Richard Avedon

The only good thing about our global recession is that many people have rediscovered the word “humble.”
As John Calvin once said:
“Men are undoubtedly more in danger from prosperity than from adversity. For when matters go smoothly, they flatter themselves, and are intoxicated by their success.”

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” – Thornton Wilder

The onset of the Holidays always serves as a valuable time of reflection. The problem is the stress of giving gifts. To simplify matters, any of you considering taking valuable time to shop for me are advised not to. Simply send money.

“Man cannot create the current of events. He can only float with them and steer.”
– Otto von Bismarck

The Past is a precious place, but when you visit it’s important not to linger.

After suffering for many weeks from DBS (Daily Blog Syndrome) I’m back.
Sorry to drift off, but sometimes daily life needs a vacation. Are you due?

“Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.” – Mark Twain

“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge

“The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.” – George Burns

“I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: - ‘No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.’” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.” – Jimmy Durante

“I have never hated a man ‘enough’ to give his diamonds back.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” – Groucho Marx

“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates

“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of misprint.” – Mark Twain

“Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.” – Winston Churchill

“We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.” – Will Rogers

“I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.” – Bob Hope

“Money can’t buy you happiness… But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.” – Spike Mulligan

Not sure who said this about “How Bad Is It?”

“The economy is so bad Congress finally investigated the Bernard Madoff scandal..  (The guy who made $50 Billion disappear was investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!”

Not sure who said this about “How Bad Is It?”

“The economy is so bad Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.”

Not sure who said this about “How Bad Is It?”

“The economy is so bad the Mafia is laying off judges.”

Not sure who said this about “How Bad Is It?”

“The economy is so bad Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.”

Not sure who said this about “How Bad Is It?”

“The economy is so bad people in Africa are donating money to Americans.”

Not sure who said this about “How Bad Is It?”

“The economy is so bad Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.”

Not sure who said this about “How Bad Is It?”

“The economy is so bad a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.”

Not sure who said this about “How Bad Is It?”

“The economy is so bad parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.”

Not sure who said this about “How Bad Is It?”

“The economy is so bad McDonalds is selling the quarter ouncer.”

Not sure who said this about “How Bad Is It?”

“The economy is so bad Obama met with three small businesses to discuss the Stimulus Package:  GE, Pfizer, and Citigroup.”

Not sure who said this about “How Bad Is It?”

“The economy is so bad Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.”

Not sure who said this about “How Bad Is It?”

“The economy is so bad if the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.”

Not sure who said this about “How Bad Is It?”

“The economy is so bad that CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.”

Not sure who said this about “How Bad Is It?”

“The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.”

“The upper crust is a bunch of crumbs held together by dough.” –J. Thomas

” I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.” –H. Youngman

“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” – Mark Twain

I wish I were close
To you as the wet skirt of
A salt girl to her body.
I think of you always.

– Yamabe No Akahito  (8th Century)

I may live on until
I long for this time
In which I am so unhappy,
And remember it fondly.

– Fujiwara No Kiyosuke  (12th Century)

The flowers whirl away
In the wind like snow.
The thing that falls away
Is myself.

– Prime Minister Kintsune  (13th Century)

“Democracy cannot healthily endure without free and unfettered debate. But knowing where the line is, matters. I see it this way. There are roughly 300 million people in America. Let’s say 1 percent of them, only one in 100, are composed of those who might fairly  be called emotionally unstable – the mentally ill, those who have limited or no ability to govern their actions, those who act out, as they say, physically or violently. That’s 3 million people. What effect might ‘they want to see you dead’ and ‘the Republic is falling right now’ have on their minds?” – Peggy Noonan, Wall Street Journal

A woman friend sent me this today:

Subject: Words for Women to Live By
1. Go on the 30 day diet. (I’m on it and so far I’ve lost 15 days).
2. I know I’m in my own little world, but it’s ok. They know me here.
3. By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she’s wrong.

A friend of mine just had a call from a Charity asking her to donate some of her clothes to the starving people throughout the world.
She told them to get a grip! Anybody who fits into her clothes isn’t starving!

The World According to Larry:

“A day without sunshine is like night.”

“On the other hand, you have different fingers.”

“Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”

“And tomorrow should you ask me for the world I would give it … If I had you could I ever want for more … For to live without your love it’s just impossible.”

When you truly love someone make sure you let them know. Unspoken love is an un-watered plant yearning to be watered.

If there were one word that could guide the actions of a whole life, would that word not be consideration?
Do not act towards others as you would not wish others to act towards you.
– Confucius

It is our way of seeing the world that determines the nature of our feelings. – Thich Nhat Hanh

Letting be, letting grow
Letting be, not hoarding
Maintaining, not subjugating
Overseeing life, not causing death.
– Lao-tzu

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it. – Garrison Keillor

He who loves war goes to his own ruin, but he who forgets war is in danger. – Liu Xiang

Larry Gelbart, co-creator of the TV series M*A*S*H, died recently at 81. A year ago when false rumors of his death circulated, Gelbart quipped “Does that mean I can stop exercising?” A brilliant satirist to the end.

He who knows a thing is worth less than he who loves a thing. He who loves a thing is worth less than he who rejoices in it. – Confucius

If you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle. – Albert Einstein

You cannot prevent the bird of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent it from nesting in your hair. – Chinese proverb

“The Insurance Industry Profit Protection and Enhancement Act.” – Health Insurance Whistleblower describing to Congress what he fears the Health Reform Bill will become if it does not contain a Public Option to keep health costs in check.

15 million Americans are jobless. Wall St. and the past lack of governmental oversight created this mess with years of greed and plunder. The bankers are still living high on the hog and the government Regulators who allowed the recklessness are still in charge. 15 million Americans are without jobs. Some justice.

“The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.” – Abraham Lincoln

“The best thing about flounder is that it comes daily.” – D. Flounder

What’s happened to America when phony TV commentators like Glenn Beck spout hate-mongering statements suggesting President Obama is a “racist” harboring a “deep-seated hatred of white people?”
While many companies have recently pulled their sponsorship of Beck’s Fox Show, one wonders down what dark alley this racist pandering to the fringe is taking our country. Screaming “FIRE!” in a crowded theater tramples the ideals upon which our society is built. We’re all in the theater together: Democrats, Republicans, and Independents.

“The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.” – Sigmund Freud

According to a National Poll, way back in 1966 rock music was the most unpopular music in America (44% disapproved). Today rock is the most popular form of music. You can only follow the bouncing ball for so long.

Did you get a glimpse of the idiot proudly holding up his sign at a recent protest against Health Care Reform? In big bold letters his sign read:

“Get a Brain. Morans.”

It’s odd that many of the people who rail against Universal Health Care Coverage because it will cost too much had no qualms about the Billions of dollars spent on invading Iraq for the past 6 years. Bombs are obviously a better investment.

“Date on which Illinois stopped paying to bury the corpses of the indigent: 7/1/09.”
– Harper’s Index

“If you want the state to bury you in Illinois get a job.” – D. Flounder

“Number of countries where fertility is currently below replacement levels: 76.”
– Harper’s Index

“The bed ain’t for sleepin’.” – D. Flounder

“Percentage change since 2002 in average premiums paid to large U.S. health-insurance companies: +87

Percentage change in the profits of the top ten insurance companies: +428

Chances that an American bankrupted by medical bills has health insurance: 7 in 10.”

– Harper’s Index

“Number of Little Tikes Cozy Coupes, a ride-in toy car, sold in the United States last year: 457,000

Percentage by which this exceeded sales of the top automobile model: 5.”

– Harper’s Index

Farewell to Sen. Ted Kennedy, one of America’s greatest legislators. Some of his accomplishments during 46 years in Congress fighting for the less fortunate and the disadvantaged: Voting Rights Act of 1965, Freedom of Information Act, Occupational Safety and Health Act, Americans with Disabilities Act, and the Serve America Act of 2009. Kennedy also helped Soviet dissidents, favored airline deregulation and worked toward ending apartheid.

Most Americans do not spend the time properly informing themselves to weigh important issues like health care, foreign policy, immigration et al. It’s much easier to be glued to the couch, snacking on pre-packaged frozen sound bites loaded with trans fat.

Words can incite the lunatic fringe as if they were bullets. We are living in a dangerous time with fear and ignorance being stoked for racism and political gain. Witness this recent article in the NY Times: A Republican candidate for governor of Idaho, Rex Rammell, was at a political barbecue last week when somebody brought up the tags used by wolf hunters, and then made a reference to killing the President of the United States.

“Obama tags?” Rammell replied, to laughter, according to an account in the Times-News of Twin Falls. “We’d buy some of those.”

When Fall knocks at the door, Summer doesn’t want to get out of the pool.

If at first you don’t secede…move to Texas.

“We learn history not in order to know how to behave or how to succeed, but to know who we are.” – The late philosopher Leszek Kolakowski

The worrisome trend of Americans to pay little or no attention to history could help explain our collective confusion as to who we are.

“For the first time in more than a decade, the size of the average newly built American house has shrunk, to 2,065 square feet. The 7 percent decline is the equivalent of one average-size room.” – CNNMoney.com

“Please, not the bathroom.” – D. Flounder

FACT: One Million Americans each year go bankrupt due to health care charges when they get seriously ill because their health care is inadequate.

I heard that the Meryl Streep film Julie & Julia was playing at a posh movie theater in L.A. where the Concession Stand offered popcorn, soft drinks, and Boeuf Bourguignon.

18,000 people a year die each year because they don’t have access to a Doctor. That’s a “Death Panel.”

Here’s a sad note. Legendary musician and inventor Les Paul died recently (1924-2009). His revolutionary solid-body electric guitar, manufactured as the “Les Paul” by Gibson in 1952, forever changed music from country to blues to R&B to rock. He’s also credited with the first eight-track tape recorder. Oh, and he produced 34 gold records, 7 Grammy Awards and is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Some Life. “How High the Moon.”

Remember all those ads by Texas oilman T. Boone Pickens extolling the virtues of wind power? Recently he pulled the plug on building the world’s biggest wind farm, canceling the order for 687 giant turbines (at a cost of $2 billion dollars). Apparently bureaucratic red tape and the credit crunch, not nature, has died down the winds.

Have you noticed all the ads lately offering “job loss protection?” If you buy something from them and subsequently lose your job, these companies will often let you return it. If you’re self employed you could buy a Ferrari, drive it around for a few months and then fire yourself.

Cattle Facts: According to Time Magazine, “a 1,000-head feedlot produces up to 280 tons of manure a week, and the smell can be powerful.” Don’t buy a timeshare unit next to one.

Women account for 50% of the American workforce, but have accounted for only 20% of the layoffs this year. One major factor may be that women are grossly underpaid compared to men. Which makes it a small consolation to the millions of employed women!

“In part to help cattle survive the crowded conditions of feedlots, where infections can spread fast, conventional cattle are given antibiotics in their feed, and sometimes growth hormones, bloods and fats. – Time Magazine

“I’ll have the fish special please.” – D. Flounder

Worried about identity theft? The largest security leak is your home trash can. You don’t need to be a Greg Louganis to “dumpster dive.” The good news is that only about 2% of data breaches translate into identity theft. Bad news for all those dumpster divers hoping the sport will become an Olympic event.

The median number of vacation days for workers in America is only 8.2 days a year. People in Europe take more than that in a week.

If you cut some worms, snakes or centipedes in half they can regenerate. I knew a magician once who sawed a woman in half to have a ménage a trois.

In the aftermath of financial malfeasance, Stylish women everywhere are discovering that the new “Must-Have” fashion accessory is 18K white gold handcuffs.

“We have nothing to fear but fear mongering itself.” –Bill Moyers

The average person spends 1/3 of their life sleeping. When you add in the time spent eating, drinking, bathing, and getting dressed, no wonder some people don’t have time to work.

Michelle Obama’s inaugural ball gown, designed by Jason Wu, now hangs in the Smithsonian Institution. Some fringe elements across the country insist that the gown was not created in the United States.

I’ve always wanted to own a car company, but GM is not what I had in mind. If taxpayers are going to own 60% of a car company why not Rolls Royce? That way all Americans could afford to ride around in one with our owner fleet discount.
P. S. Should we rename GM as Government Motors?

“French people eat French food every single day. I can’t get over it.” – Julia Child
Meryl Streep is a national treasure and her recent performance in the new film Julie & Julia is an absolute pleasure. You won’t leave hungry.

Good News for Travelers. The nation’s 19 largest airlines improved on-time arrival performance every month this year except March. The secret: Reduced number of flights which reduce congestion at airports.

The best on-time airline: Hawaiian Air

Passengers who board planes first, as opposed to those taking their seats last, all arrived at their destination at the same time.

Blog, blog, blog, blog, blog,
blog, blog, blog, blog, blog,
blog. Blog. Blog.

Rent-To-Own stores are prospering in this rickety economy. These stores lease electronics, appliances and other household items by the week or month. I’ve almost got my corkscrew paid off.

What’s all the fuss about Health Care Reform? Why not continue to allow private health insurance company bureaucrats to decide which procedures get approved and which do not? These  corporations need to make the most profit possible. And who cares about lowering the cost of prescription drugs? And what’s wrong with paying 10% more each year for our health insurance? Let’s just continue to spend more than any other industrialized nation for health care. We’re all going to die eventually, so why fix something so badly broken?

“It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.” – Samuel Johnson

“It is better to flounder daily than not to flounder at all.” – D. Flounder

“Hate Talk” is all the rage on cable TV and on the radio. Hate mongers like Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Michael Savage, and Bill O’ Reilly are important to our society. They have a mission to perform. Think of them as the Founding Fathers of Hate. We need these people to further divide our nation and to encourage the less intelligent toward acts of violence. Was it Charlton Heston (actor and NRA spokesman) who once said: “I don’t care what you have to say, but I will defend till death my right to shoot you.”

So many babies are being born across the country. Did you hear about the new cable TV channel for new parents?

Poop on Demand

The Name “Ponzi Scheme” came from the deceptive financial manipulations of Charles Ponzi. It’s ironic that Bernie Madoff has checked into the same correctional facility where the illustrious Mr. Ponzi served time. History, once again, repeats itself.

“Duct Tape for Fakers.” The new government program for all the corporate health care flaks that are disrupting Town Halls across the country. Dissent is democratic, but screaming corporate plants whose sole intent is to ban discussion of health care reform is nothing more than cynical hooliganism. The Health Care Industry does NOT WANT REFORM. Not Public Option. Not Single Payer. Not ANYTHING that will lower our costs and give us more choices. 70% of Americans want health care reform. Do you?

The Week Magazine – August 7, 2009:

Texting While Driving – Drivers who send text messages while at the wheel are 23 times more likely to get into an accident, a new report concludes. They found that just prior to collisions or near-collisions, (drivers) typically spent five seconds or more looking at their texting devices instead of at the road.

Graffiti vandals recently “tagged” the historic “Welcome To Las Vegas” sign. This wasn’t’ creative street art, just ugly anti-social spray canned defacement of an iconic American monument. These can-wielding morons have nothing going for themselves save the desecration of beauty. They should be caught and sprayed head to toe with their own feeble tags.

Have a big family and want to save money on your wedding? Send out announcements that the ceremony is being held in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico (while the fear of swine flu still lingers).

Economic Recovery is just around the coroner. Recent signs indicate we have hit bottom and are now on our way up. Here’s hoping…

WEIGHT LOSS NOW! I lost 180 pounds on NutriSystem before realizing that I didn’t weight that much to begin with.

The “CASH FOR CLUNKERS” auto stimulus is a huge success. A renown chef/restaurateur friend wonders why Congress won’t help his industry with a “CASH FOR GRUB” stimulus.

Someone at the morgue stole Michael Jackson’s nose. Apparently, after too many plastic surgeries, he no longer had a nose. The late entertainer kept several noses. No one knows where his nose has gone.

Why the hell are people still falsely claiming that President Obama was born in another country and not citizen of the United States?

Is it because Lou Dobbs was born in Mexico, Newt Gingrich born in Siberia, and Sarah Palin born in a galaxy far far away?

Why does such stupidity not only persist, but gather so many gullible followers?

President Obama called this morning to invite me for a beer at the White House. Sadly, I was locked inside my house and couldn’t get out.

Health Care should be renamed “Health Scare.” The rich Big Pharma, Insurance Companies, and paid-off politicians are spreading lies and misinformation designed to cloud the truth. Convincing the public to not support reform that is beneficial is nothing new. Deceptively derailing health care reform is sinister and unpatriotic.

Everyone’s trying to find a niche to survive the Recession. I tried to register the domain name “Niche.com,” but it was already taken.

“Fear is the foundation of most governments.” No, this is not a quote from George W. Bush’s upcoming memoir. These now ancient words are from President John Adams.

Why is time going by so quickly? Not that long ago a good pair of tweezers could pry back the hands of time. These days you need a crowbar.

Win luxurious prizes, including major appliances! Become a Flounder Fan on Facebook: DailyFlounder Page

Speculation is an occupation best served by the indigent.

Going to dinner with good friends is truly one of life’s pleasures. Add to this a fine bottle of wine, superb cuisine, ambiance, and a second bottle of wine. Sharing friendship is priceless (until they bring the check).

“All the cosmetics’ names seemed obscenely obvious to me in their promises of sexual bliss. They were all firming or uplifting or invigorating. They made you tingle. Or glow. Or feel young.  – Erica Jong

Might I interest you in an eau de parfum spray of Flounder?

Her heart was as seasonal as an Easter basket without the eggs.

I like complications. You never know what you’re going to get. Nor how to get out of it.

If it weren’t for the blizzard he would never have skied Mt. Cleavage.

“And that’s the way it is.”

As the great Walter Cronkite signs off for the last time (at 92), his legacy of integrity journalism speaks volumes to the debased, hyped sensationalism often passing as news in today’s world. Another icon from a bygone world reminding us yet again that we have much to learn from the past. “And that’s the way it is.”

“It’s your Day of all Days! It’s the Best of the Best! So don’t waste a minute! Hop to it! Get dressed!”
– Dr. Seuss

Here’s a tip for anyone headed to Italy: Whenever the waiter presents you with the check, put on your most sincere look and say “Puo farmi lo sconto?” It means “can you lower the price” and while it won’t save you a euro, is certain to evoke a smile.

Here’s a quote from Pierre Daninos for Queen Sharon of Maui: “A British Mother’s advice to her daughter on how to survive the wedding night: Close your eyes and think of England.”

Why should Congress care about health care? These characters get buckets of cash from pharmaceudical and health “care” companies, plus the peace of mind knowing their own privileged coverage could not be better. Motivation? Are you kidding?

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.” – Henny Youngman (1906 – 1998)

I’d rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy.

“Brutality” is a word incapable of expressing the depth of it’s meaning. Human beings yearn for justice, yet the human spirit may be beaten, shot, lynched, and squelched only to slowly rise again and again and again. Such is the witness of history, which too often takes too much time to write for those unfortunates living it.

Another major American newspaper has just run out of ink.

Sometimes it’s easy to imagine the way things might have been had they not been previously imagined.

“Quotes are like sugar.” You get an existential rush that drops you in short order, yet somehow leaves you thinking about it.

When opportunity knocks, it’s not always pizza.

Summer always reminds us to slow down and enjoy the naked pleasures of life. Fall comes soon enough, dressed in a light wool turtleneck of responsibility.

Bourbon always reminds me of my childhood in New Orleans ––
straight up or on the rocks.

Courage is more than standing for a firm conviction. It includes the risk of questioning that conviction.
– J. W. Gordon

If you hit bottom and it feels like the top you’ve either really hit bottom or never known the top.

She came at me full-on throttle and not surprisingly, soon ran out of gas.

“I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It’s about Russia.” – W. Allen

Why is North Korea aiming a missile at Hawaii? Does Kim Jong-il have an aversion to mai tais, exquisite beaches and aloha? Well, it won’t work Kim Jong-il, you little twit. Hawaii has a self defense: Sunblock.

Michael Jackson was a musical genius and a genuine icon. CNN used to be a news network, but since Jackson’s death has turned into a 24/7 entertainment channel fixated with the most banal obsession of anything Michael. You can’t find any news on CNN or Headline News other than rehashed mush about Jackson’s demise. It’s as if the world stood still (but it hasn’t). CNN has lost credibility. Rest in Peace Michael Jackson.

Iran has shown its true dictatorial self and no matter how the repression of its people plays out, there is no pretense no longer. This regime is naked to the world community, clothed only in the tattered threads of propaganda.

As a child they said he couldn’t write himself out of a paper bag. As an adult he ran out of paper.

“Heeere’s Johnny!” And heeere’s to you Ed McMahon. As a kid staying up late to watch the Tonight Show, you were the perfect sidekick to Johnny Carson, proving that second bananas can be a bunch of fun. Rest in peace.

Politicians have a long history of being caught with their pants down. What makes the recent rash of Republican Governors confessing their marital infidelity so hypocritical is that these are the same characters who were so quick to stone others in similar circumstances. No political party has a monopoly on virtue or so-called “family values,” so cut the crap.

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Daily Flounder is now on Facebook and MySpace.

“A flounder is a flounder is a flounder.” —– Shakespeare

The Tonight Show began in 1954. The highest ratings ever occurred on Johnny Carson’s show in 1969 when falsetto-pitched ukelele strutting Tiny Tim tiptoed through the tulips to marry a 17 year old fan.

The Workplace Bullying Institute in Bellingham, Washington (yes, it really exists) recently found that women account for 40 percent of Workplace Bullying. Figures for Domestic Bullying are – sorry. I have to take out the trash, fix the screen door and mow the yard.

“My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.”
– Mark Twain

Did you see where some churches are encouraging the congregation to Twitter during services? If God had a handheld would God Twitter?

God@Heaven Just moved some mountains. Time for a snack.

Guantanamo Bay Prison: To close or not to close.
Politicians are falling all over themselves to make grandstanding speeches refusing to allow any inmates being held in this facility to be transferred to a prison in their respective states. Maximum Security prisons throughout the U. S. hold many uber dangerous felons. To suggest we are incapable of doing the same with Gitmo bad guys is folly. Are we a nation of scaredy-cats?

One of my friends is a very talented singer-songwriter and real estate agent. Today I received an email with the subject: “Music tonight and Foreclosure listings.”

“In Pennsylvania a middle school girl was expelled for bringing an eyebrow trimmer to school. Officials ruled that the grooming tool could be used as a weapon.
‘I did not come up there to hurt anybody,’ the 15 year old said.
She worries that this incident on her record could cause colleges to reject her application.
‘I want to be an anesthesiologist,’ she stated,” (brandishing a hammer in her right hand).

Life is chock-full of opportunities. Many people miss the boat – even when you show them to their cabin.

She ate so much salmon I thought she was going to swim upstream.

“Estimated percentage of this year’s college seniors who will graduate without having secured a job: 70.” – Harper’s Index

Hey, Moms & Dads! Better not rent out that spare bedroom – Jr.’s moving home.

Why are the proponents of “Single Payer” health insurance denied a seat at the health reform table? Because single payer (as supported also by thousands of doctors and nurses) would bypass the massive health insurance industry. By eliminating the billions and billions of dollars this “middle man” industry reaps from exploiting the system, everyone in America would be insured and our premiums would drop substantially. Too good to be true? Most likely, considering the health insurance industry owns our congress and heavily donates to the campaign funds of those chairing the congressional committees on these issues. Sorry to say, but even President Obama (as recently as a speech 2 weeks ago) is not on the Single Payer side.

Blessings are not always so obvious when they appear. Often they arrive disguised as something bad or negative. Or wearing a Halloween costume when it’s not even October. That’s why I always keep candy by the door.

In 4th grade a classmate owed me a dollar for months and on the last day of class before summer vacation he showed up with the buck. I had long written this off as a bad debt, so on the walk home from school I bought 100 transfer tattoos (at a penny each). At dinner, when my parents called me to the table, I showed up in my underwear as the Tattooed Man.

To be great, be whole; exclude Nothing, exaggerate nothing that is you. Be whole in everything. Put all you are into the smallest thing you do. The whole moon gleams in every pool,
It rides so high.
– Ricardo Reis 1933

Fernando Pessoa was one of the greatest poets of the 20th Century. He was unusual in that he wrote under four different personalities with four different names. Ricardo  Reis was one of his nom de plumes. My favorites are the poems Pessoa wrote as Alvaro de Campus (especially “Lisbon Revisited”). Poems of Fernando Pessoa published by City Lights.

We often hear about someone winning a “Pulitzer Prize.” This cherished honor is named after Joseph Pulitzer, a penniless Hungarian immigrant who built his newspaper fortune with single copy sales at a penny a paper.

Today I’m blogged out. So what does one do for a daily blog when inspiration decides to sleep in late? Write about it.

Here’s a super-size shocker: The Week magazine reports that 35% of American children ages 6 to 19 are overweight. And half of these kids (about 11 million) are so overweight they fit the classification as obese. Shorter life spans, diseases (including many previously associated with adults) are some of the consequences. According to California health officials Dr. Jason Eberhart Phillips “Our kids belong to the first generation of Americans whose life expectancy could well be shorter than that of their parents.”

When a good friend needs a bail-out, it’s not always money that’s needed. Emotional support is priceless.

Do you think that Cleopatra slept on 800 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets?

Before you rush out and get a tattoo, keep in mind that recent studies have shown that 1 in 6 Americans regret having gotten one. Women are twice as likely to have their tattoos removed. Removing a tattoo is “a long and painful process, often requiring a dozen laser sessions that can cost more than $200 a pop.”

Many years ago a good friend gave me a small stone gargoyle as a gift. I love looking at my gargoyle and it always reminds me of Europe. For my birthday this year I’m asking for a moat.

Recently Dr. George Tiller was the latest victim of violent death perpetrated by anti-abortionist zealots. Dr. Tiller was shot to death attending church in Wichita, Kansas.
How can a person adamantly in favor of “Pro Life” deliberately end the life of another human being? Is murder justified if someone disagrees with you on the right of a woman to receive an abortion? Murder in the name of religious belief. Murder in the name of “Pro Life.” Murder is murder whichever side of the abortion issue you are on and one fact is certain: Hostile anti-abortion rhetoric only inflames the extremist elements toward taking the debate into their own hands via a loaded gun. Why are so many religious institutions so ominously silent in speaking out against this violence?
Or as President Obama recently said in response to Dr. Tiller’s killing: “However profound our differences as Americans over difficult issues such as abortion, they cannot be resolved by heinous acts of violence.”

One of my Aunts is 91 years young. She lost her home in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Like so many others, she was gypped on the house insurance settlement and now lives in an assisted living home. Can you imagine living such a long life only to have your precious objects and photos wash away? Her disposition is as sunny and bright as ever, and her optimism for life radiant. We can all learn from Aunt Pauline.

Call me a Luddite, but I just don’t get the self-inflated concept of Twitter. Are we now so important that we need to send out sound bites describing our every thought and action? Who are the hordes of bored people following the Tweets? At least I know where they got the name “Twitter” – from all the “twits” with nothing better to do. (Of course, in six months I’ll be “Tweeting.”)

“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.” –Phyllis Diller

Ivan Arreguin-Toft, political scientist, analyzed all wars fought in the past 200 years. He was looking for the chances of the “Davids” against the “Goliaths.” The Goliaths in each war were ten or more times as powerful, yet the Davids won almost one-third of the time. His conclusion, was that  when underdogs avoid playing by the rules of the dominant, then chances of winning greatly increases (”even when everything we think we know about power says they shouldn’t”). An applicable lesson today in business and in life.

It’s estimated that between 4,000 and 6,000 metric tons of sunscreen wash off swimmers each year into the ocean with danger to the coral reefs. An ingredient in the sunscreen is detrimental to the reefs.

Fox News is a right wing extension of the Republican Party. CNN is a sensation-obsessed network starring drama queens from both political parties. Fewer and fewer people watch NBC, CBS, and ABC nightly news. Major newspapers are closing or downsizing throughout the country. So when the prospect of getting real news is almost laughable, it’s no wonder many turn to Comedy Central.

“Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one.” –Ted Allan

“Wishing for something bigger often makes you look smaller.” – Leaderinsky

No one wants to pay high taxes. We Americans carp about taxes all the time, but imagine if we lived in England. Make over 150,000 pounds a year and you pay 50% in taxes. (That’s right, Half Your Income.) Of course, you do get free health insurance, so if high taxes are killing you the medical treatment is free.

How does a divisive hate monger like Rush Limbaugh command such a loyal core audience that he can get a $400 million dollar contract? How much does that break down for each venomous sound bite spewed from his microphone? Our country is founded on free speech, but when a talking head talking out of his ass preaches for our President and economic recovery to fail, our country suffers from such unpatriotic negative propaganda (and the further brainwashing of the “Rushites”).

Here’s a Healthy Tip: Skin Deep on Cosmeticsdatabase.com provides detailed ingredient toxicity information and safety ranking of almost every cosmetic and personal cleansing product available in the market. Simply type in your product to view it’s ingredients’ toxic and safety levels.

The time will come
When, with elation,
You will greet yourself arriving
At your own door, in your own mirror,
And each will smile at the other’s welcome.”
– Derek Walcott

“Hey, honey, the pizza guy’s here.”
– D. Flounder

Did you read where Rick Perry, the Governor of Texas, is advocating secession from the United States? Does this mean that New Mexico, Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Louisiana will need to erect a giant wall to keep the Texans out?

Sad to see so many of the generation to generation small GM car dealerships shut down across the country. It’s a new world thanks to the plundering of our financial sector. Not to mention the blind ineptness of America’s auto industry who for years could not see the flashing neon writing on the walls. I feel especially sorry for all the hardworking dealers in small towns and all of the jobs that will be lost.

Do any of you watch Charlie Rose on PBS? Most of his interviews are held around a stately old wooden table. A myriad of the famous, the corrupt, and the wise in every field have shared their perspectives across the table with Charlie. Someday the table will be in the Smithsonian or perhaps the Broadcast Museum. Voices long gone with only the silence of a table to speak.

A Big Thank You to all of you who have taken the time to post comments. Daily Flounder was created as a conversation and we all know how interesting it gets when you are only talking to yourself.

Recently I saw an advertisement for HBO’s Def Comedy Jam, only the typo read:
Death Comedy Jam. Certainly comedy can be excruciating, but I don’t know of a single case where someone died from a bad joke. I have, however, seen bombing comics that would kill to get off the stage.

Do you ever get the feeling you are being followed by a shadow? Yet each time you turn around nothing is there. Rather like following your 401k.

What’s up with South Africa these days? Have the words and deeds of Nelson Mandela, 15 years after he led the country into a new threshold of empathy, fallen on deaf ears? Government corruption, graft, AIDS denial, inequality and violent crime seem to have replaced the eloquent leadership of Mandela. How sad for a country so long torn.

It’s not easy writing a blog every day, but knowing that thousands of you read them makes it quite worthwhile. I’m curious if you like the mix of serious, humorous, factual, and inspirational?  Feedback please.

IMPORTANT FLOUNDER CHANGES:
1. Archive now allows you to view the past 30 days.
2. Your comments will be posted on the site for everyone to view.

For my 13th birthday my parents gave me a professional drawing board, pens, nibs and jars of India ink, along with a book called “How to Be a Cartoonist.” Little did they know I’d be floundering later in life.

“Start every day with a smile and get it over with.”   W.C.Fields

“Start every day with the smell of flounder and your smile will linger.”  D.Flounder

How fortunate to have had the mother that raised me. There is no luckier fortune in life. She gave me, above all, the confidence to believe in myself, the humility to learn from mistakes, and the empathy to nurture others. I love you, Mom.

“Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows.”   John Betjeman

As a kid, I had a lawn mower business. I remember the smell of gasoline filling my mower and the even more intoxicating smell of fresh cut grass. My hand made business cards read: “Have Mower Will Travel.”

There’s much discussion these days about “debt.” America was founded on debt. The earliest colonies in the New World knew all about debt. Two out of three Europeans stepping from the boat to shore were debtors.

The world is spinning but not necessarily in my direction.

IMPORTANT FLOUNDER CHANGES:
1. Archive now allows you to view the past 30 days.
2. Your comments will be posted on the site for everyone to view.

I just read that in the New York city area the world’s largest French restaurant closed. It was pronounced Chez Stadium.

Vanity is only viable when overwhelmed by reality.

He bought a custom bed with two right sides so he wouldn’t wake up on the wrong side, yet his disposition remained intolerable.

The road less traveled is a traffic jam of things you might have done if only.

Do you ever pause to think about all the people who helped you become the person that you are? A parent, an aunt, a special teacher, a childhood friend or maybe a stranger who took the time to cut you a break or teach you right from wrong? To all of you living or dead that I have perhaps taken for granted or never properly acknowledged – thank you.

This morning I watched three baby sharks circling the shallow water at low tide. These sharks are harmless to humans, which cannot be said about the danger to the worldwide shark population by humans.

Once it is firmly settled in the book of life, let all the accomplishments and all the failures be weighed, measured then thrown away. For all that need be said is: he always fed the birds.

There are a lot of things to run out of, but the worst of the lot is time.

The lines between fact and fiction are certainly blurring before our very eyes. Soon there will be no distinction and we can all live in complete and utter ignorant bliss.

There are many ways to measure success in life. Ironically, money is the poorest.

On the news today United Airlines announced they were charging grossly obese passengers for 2 seats. This seems very unfair. Why not make room by putting two excessively thin passengers into 1 seat?

Not sure who said this, but it’s worth quoting:

” I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend while I’m here than a whole truck-load when I’m gone.”

Recently a friend got away to a remote spot of nature for 5 days without cell phone or computer. Now that he’s back, he can’t stop talking and emailing about his experience.

“The ignorance of one voter in a democracy impairs the security of all.”
- John F. Kennedy

After listening to the so-called wisdom spouted by some cable news network talking heads, I’m feeling rather insecure.

Everyone I know is iPhone crazy. There’s an “App” for everything except “lications.”

I’ve been thinking of getting a pet just so I can name it Peeve.

“Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.” – Pablo Picasso

There is nothing more disarming than a smile. In a perfect world, two armies at war would line up across from each other and exchange a round of smiles.

Today I watched a You Tube video of an Englishwoman on a TV talent show singing “I Dreamed A Dream” from the musical Les Miserables.  The woman was quite frumpy and middle-aged, as the audience prepared to have a good laugh.
From the first note to the last she soared, captivating the hearts of everyone there to thunderous applause.
Why do we love these moments so much? Is it because we inherently know that within all of us lies a special talent? A voice waiting not only to be heard, but for someone to listen.

Little known is the fact that the Colonists who staged the Boston Tea Party were drunk on rum. If they’d been sipping tea before heading to the harbor I doubt we’d be remembering the Boston Rum Party.

When I was younger I went to a construction site to apply for a job. I didn’t really have any skills and when the foreman asked for my specialty I replied “Self Deprecator.”

Lately, time just refuses to stand still long enough to enjoy the pleasure of doing nothing. Once I tried setting all the clocks in the house ahead by 60 minutes so that at the end of the day I’d have an extra hour. Unfortunately I picked the wrong day. It was Daylight Savings Time.

People who don’t believe in global warming should be put in a room and forced to watch “An Inconvenient Truth” over and over again until they are Gored to death.

Not Made in China: I just read where Chop Suey originated in the United States. The name comes from the Cantonese words “tsa sui,” which phonetically sounds like “Chop Suey” and translates as “miscellaneous bits.”  The irony is that it’s about the only thing sold at Walmart not made in China.

Did you know the White House has 32 bathrooms? I wonder if they ever run out of hot water?

Someone recently said I looked much younger than my age and asked my secret.  “It’s simple” I replied. “I was born ten years immature.”

Did you know that it wasn’t until around 1890 that toilet paper on a roll became popular? Before then, apparently, people never ran out. Or maybe that is what they did?

Bulls are color-blind. They don’t charge the matador because of the red cape, but rather are reacting to motion. Many men are color-blind and when they see a woman in red charge expensive meals.

Sometimes you can feel so empty that nothing seems to fill the hole. Rather than trying to fill the hole, why not just crawl into it and take a nap? Life will wake you up soon enough.

“He had a profound respect for old age. Especially when it’s bottled.”  G. Fowler

“He had a profound respect for youth. Especially when it’s throttled.”  D. Flounder

When is it good to be a motherless child? When the love of money is the mother of all evils.

Rejection. Do you ever feel like the old piece of junk that no one even picks up on the yard sale table? That’s why I never have yard sales.

This week it happened again. Another couple, married for twelve years, broke up. There really are no assurances in life. The joy of the journey is the attempt to defy the odds. I wish them both well.

Let’s all get away for a week and walk on a tropical beach at sunset. Sometimes doing the unexpected is just what the Recession calls for. Hawaii perhaps?

INSTANT WINNER!
Congratulations. You are the 5 Millionth reader of
Daily Flounder blogs. How does an all expense paid
trip around the world sound? This must be your Lucky
Day.

A friend says if you want to yell at someone on the internet, type your email in ALL CAPS. Same goes for cell phones: Text message in ALL CAPS. It’s a great way to YELL WITHOUT SOUND.

It’s so disappointing when someone you thought was a good friend shows that they are no friend at all. (You know who you are).

“Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.”  Pablo Picasso

“Shower the people you love with love.”  James Taylor

“You smell like flounder.”  D. Flounder

“Optimism is the foundation of courage.”  Nicholas Murray Butler

“Courage is as often the outcome of despair as of hope; in the one case we have nothing to lose, in the other everything to gain.”  Diane De Pottiers

“There is nothing more courageous than a daily blog.”  D. Flounder

Each of us must travel our own path and endure the traumas that enlighten our way. It is a lonely road inspired by those we meet along the journey. Great spirits appear in every religion or spiritual persuasion. Listen to your heart singing in the wind.

“All the scholastic scaffolding falls, as a ruined edifice, before a single word: faith.”  Napoleon Bonaparte

Today, on the very spot where Napoleon spoke these words stands the ever popular Waterloo Water Park.

When a language disappears with the last generation of speakers, do the voices of the past protest? Treasures of culture, gleaming golden words with all their meanings, forever buried. Ancient wisdom that no longer speaks to the present falls on deaf ears in the future.

“What happens when the meaning of your life is over long before your life is over?” I never want to find that out.

I was thinking that if it wasn’t Arnold Palmer that invented the drink with ice tea and lemonade, but rather someone else, would it be odd at lunch to order an Elizabeth Barrett Browning?

Everyone has a story to tell or a song to sing. Happiness is having someone to listen and someone to listen to.

I never met Dr. Joyce Brothers, but I knew her sisters.

“Perseverance is a great element of success. If you knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“Knock too long and too loudly at the gate of success and someone is bound to call the police.”  — D. Flounder

Vince Lombardi was a winning is everything kind of a guy. There’s even a Vince Lombardi Rest Area on the New Jersey Turnpike. I got off the road there once and by the time I drove off and was 50 miles down the pike realized I lost my wallet.  This would never have happened to Vince. And then I remembered something he once said “If you can’t accept losing, you can’t win.” Try telling that to the Toll Booth Attendant.

Have you ever been entirely happy? To dissolve into a wholeness inseparable from light and dark. To wink at the eye in the sky. Content for a moment. Entirely happy.

I just read where the adventure writer Jonathan Swift wrote slowly.

Repetition can be a comfort or a prescription for boredom. Some people get their boredom from heavily advertised brand name pharmaceutical companies. I prefer generic boredom. It’s easier and cheaper to overcome.

Inspiring words from well-known philosophers are keeping me up at night. Their well crafted insights are disturbing my sleep. When I finally called my doctor for a remedy he suggested reading something light just before bedtime. I’m almost through with the War part and into the chapters on Peace.

Yesterday I went to the bookstore and bought a pair of quotation marks. Now all I need is something profound to say.

Is it a coincidence or a sign of the times? This past week I ran into three different longtime friends and each told me they were moving to another state. Is this an economic response to the recession or an age-old case of “greener pastures?”
And then I took it a step further, imagining that every friend living here suddenly decides to move away. At the Post Office there’s a shortage of Change of Address forms and everywhere I go no one knows me.

Sometimes there is a startling difference between what you are supposed to feel and what you actually do feel. What’s worse is to feel nothing.

Opening Lines From Novels I Will Never Write:
“She was the sexy ray of bright sunshine between the Venetian blinds of life.”

“Every great mistake has a halfway moment, a split second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied.”  — Pearl Buck
“My watch must be fast.”  — D. Flounder

“Eat if you must, but always leave a tip.”   D. Flounder

“Unless a man undertakes more than he possibly can do, he will never do all that he can.” — H. Drummond

“These days many of us take on more than we can possibly do, and are doing all we can to take on more.” — D. Flounder

Resurrected from the 1950’s, 3D is now the latest rage. I bought a special pair of 3D glasses for the house. Things keep popping out as you walk from room to room. Including a long lost sock.

The sky was blue and the sun shining, but a soft light rain was falling. Emanating from high in the mountains, tropical winds had blown the moisture down to the sea. Standing on the deck, looking out at the shimmering sea, an exquisite rainbow arched across the water in the distance. Good thing I didn’t sleep in.

Founding Father Benjamin Franklin once said: “Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”  When he moved to Europe to negotiate an alliance with France, Ben switched to wine, women and song. The Treaty between the United States and France was signed on February 6, 1778 and changed the course of the Revolutionary War.

Recently a good friend lost his father, which sent me back to the day I lost mine. All of us are here for such a short while. When we are young, most of us think that the people in our lives will always be there. Sometimes a friend will tell me that it’s a hassle to visit their parents. I tell them to go before they have no parents to visit.  Most of the time they give me an incredulous look. And then they go.

Call someone today that you really miss and tell them so. Emails don’t count today. There is no replacement for the human voice.

This week I am especially enamored of quotations.  Here are three to contemplate on the subject of doubt.  At first I wasn’t sure whether or not to include them.

“Doubt breeds doubt.”  — Franz Grillparzer

“In doubt, fear is the worst of prophets.”  — Statius

“Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.” — Kahlil Gibran

Here’s an interesting test:  Turn on the cable news and increase the volume a couple of notches louder.  Go into the next room, close your eyes and listen to the babble.  I call it mind erosion. Now turn off the TV and sit in silence for ten minutes as your mind just drifts and wanders. Write your members of Congress to support a new bill for the Protection of Endangered Silence. What do you think the odds are of passage?

“Every area of trouble gives out a ray of hope, and the one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain or unchangeable.”  — John F. Kennedy

If someone tells you things are never going to get better, you had better get away from that someone.  Pessimists thrive on uncertainty and fear.  Don’t feed them.  Save your popcorn for the movies.

“Patterns of the past echo in the present and resound through the future.”
— Dhyani Ywahoo

“Patterns of the past echo in the present and resound through the future.”
— Dhyani Ywahoo

Daily Flounder uses special dyes and washes to help create its super soft worn- in feel that will soon become a staple to your wardrobe. Obscure references and logic imperfections are inherent in this process and help add to the distinctive character.

Here’s a great quote for all of you Jane Austen fans out there:
“Why not seize the pleasure at once? How often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparation.

Okay. Have you networked DailyFlounder.com to your kindred friends? This is an organic grassroots website not sold in stores or hawked on late-night TV. On behalf of our Public Relations Dept. (i.e. me) “Thank You.”

Recently one of the biggest names in sport admitted taking steroids. What this baseball hero would not admit was his daily addiction to flounder. In short, if you want to hit more home runs visit DailyFlounder.com every single day of the year.

Everyone’s got a take on how long the Recession will last.  When anyone asks for my opinion I defer to the age-old adage:
“If you lay all the economists in the world end to end, they still wouldn’t reach a conclusion.

There is a lot of debate regarding the value of making fuel from corn.  Ethanol has been a Sugar Daddy for big corn farmers.  When I was in college I sometimes lived on popcorn.  It wasn’t all that efficient and in terms of mileage barely got me to class.

Today is National Blog-Free Day.

You know something serious is happening to the economy when your financial adviser tells you they are going into the cheesecake business.  When I asked: “But what about my portfolio?  What should I do?”  she replied: “Put your money in crust.”

Recently I ran into a friend and told them about my new cartoon/drawing website.  As I described the site, they seemed puzzled.   “But how do make any money from it?”  I thought of replying that this site is for art’s sake and everything doesn’t always have to be about money.   And then it hit me:   If everyone visiting my website mailed me one thousand dollars, I could quit my day job.  And if everyone visiting my website mailed me ten thousand dollars, I could also quit my night job.  That may sound great for awhile, but in this economy who wants to be without a job?

My Aunt lives in a retirement home and for Valentine’s Day they had a special dinner for all the residents.   She was thrilled that they even served “pink champagne.”  Later in our phone conversation I asked if she had some of the pink champagne.  She said “No, I can’t have alcohol with my medications.”   A lot of us would be better off if we appreciated that it’s not the drinking, but the celebration.

There is so much negativity swirling around these days and it’s not even tornado season.  Or hurricane season.   Or tsunami season.  Or the season of the wolf.

The point is that fear is driving us all underground, where the mole people dwell.  Downsizing is not the end of the world.   We have been lulled by the greed pipers into a dance of exponential expectations (while they reaped beaucoup bucks).

More, more, more……………..   as if cycles no longer exist.  As is the world has never contracted.

This too will pass.   Floundering can actually be healthy for your frame of mind.  As long as it is Daily.

Daily Flounder is gaining more visitors each week. Thanks to all of you for helping to spread the word. There is also a “Send Site to Friend” link on the website pages to make it easier for you to share my drawings with friends. Aloha!

To quote talented French actress Jeanne Moreau, perhaps best known for her role in the classic 1962 film Jules et Jim, and now in her eighties:

“Age does not protect you from love, but love, to some extent, protects you from age.”

May all of you, young and old and in-between, celebrate the gift of love.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

“Yesterday is but a dream, tomorrow is only a vision. But today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to this day, for it is life, the very life of life.” — The Sanskrit

“And don’t forget to flounder.” — M.

When is the last time you called someone you haven’t spoken to for a long, long time? Today I finally picked up the phone to call an old friend and after I said hello they replied “Who is this?” When I explained who I was, they replied “Who?” I suppose that’s why we have people in our lives we haven’t spoken to for a long, long time.

Some of you forget to flounder each day even though a new Daily Catch is posted daily. Please keep in mind that you can click on the thumbnails in the Archive Page and view the past 7 days. Wouldn’t it be interesting if we could click an Archive tab and view the past 7 days of our lives?

For those among you in the thousands who haven’t noticed, DailyFlounder.com now includes a “Send Site To Friend”  link.

Thank you for sharing my work with others.  This is a grassroots site whose sole aim is to amuse and give short pause to the busy day.

Recently friends have advised me to make my blogs more uplifting.

“More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads.  One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction.  Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.”     — W. Allen

Age is a curious thing.  I remember a number of years ago reading about the famous legendary black baseball pitcher Satchel Paige.  They called him the greatest pitcher in the Negro Baseball Leagues and for 22 years he wowed the crowds.  His dream was to pitch in the Major Leagues and in 1948 finally got his chance, helping the Cleveland Indians win the pennant. 

Satchel pitched his last game in 1965 for the Kansas City Athletics.  He threw three shutout innings and although no one knew his exact age, it was figured that he was about 60.  Satchel once explained the mystery of how old he was by saying:

“I don’t know how old I am because the goat ate the Bible that had my birth certificate in it.   The goat lived to be twenty-seven.”

Satchel Paige was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1971.

I rarely turn on the TV in the morning, preferring either silence or classical music.  Today for some reason I punched the TV remote and was pummeled by bad news and negativity.  It started to penetrate my peace of mind until I heard the loud rumble outside my house from the new automated garbage truck. 

It was reassuring to know that despite the morass the world has sunk into, I still have someone to pick up my trash.

I turned the TV off.

Yesterday a young man solicited my advice on a new project he was hoping to launch.   His idea was a good one, but the venture seemed risky in today’s uncertain economy.   I advised patience and time before moving forward.

Today I picked up a book of quotes and by reverse osmosis opened to a page with the following:

“I rate enthusiasm even above professional skill.”  Sir Edward Appleton

“Success is due les to ability than to zeal.”  Charles Buxton

“I prefer the errors of enthusiasm to the indifference of wisdom.” Anatole France

That’s why I rarely give advice.

Who knows what to make of the volatility of the Stock Market?  No one seems to know anything, especially the so-called experts. As Professor Irwin Corey once remarked:  “When your IQ rises to 28, sell.”

There is so much doom and gloom in the air that it’s easy to forget that life goes on despite the headlines.  Each day is a precious gift to be opened with joy. 

“The man is happiest who lives from day to day and asks no more, garnering the simple goodness of a life.”   — Euripides

Well, the first week is history.  Thanks to all of you for floundering with me.  Please remember that if you miss a day or two you can click the “Archive” tab and view the past 7 days.

We’re working on a “Send Site to Friend” link that should be up soon.  Meanwhile, please help spread the word.

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”    — Aristotle

Former President Jimmy Carter said that one of his secrets to getting through the grueling White House day was to take a short nap that revived him with a burst of energy.  Napping on the job, therefore, is a virtue.

As many of you know, the word “mahalo” means thank you in Hawaiian.  Your response to DailyFlounder.com is truly appreciated. 

I know that some days my daily offering will resonate with you more than others and sometimes may not resonate at all.  Please stay with me.   I’ve got much more to share.

Mahalo. 

One of our greatest Americans lived in the 19^th century.   His name was Ralph Waldo Emerson and though he began his life as a minister, he went on to become an essayist, philosopher, and poet.

I have always found his quotations both enlightening and memorable.   Here are a few for your enjoyment:

“A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.”

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

And my personal favorite:

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.”

Today I would like to send a shout out to my niece Kiki and the loving memory of her father:

 “In the game of life, nothing is less important than the score at half time.” 

Thank you President Obama for visiting my site.   I realize how busy you are, which makes it even more special.

Wow!!!!    Yesterday was the first day of the DailyFlounder.com launch and I got 2 million visits.   The server was down for 6 hours.   The phone has not stopped ringing.
Thank you.   Thank you.   Thank you.

Aloha!